My Other Stuff

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

A LONG Time Coming...Update on Sean

So back in May of 2012 I wrote a post centered around a young man I called Sean. Sean was basically homeless and had given up any chance of graduating high school. He was going to leave school in June and never come back.

Well, by the powers of Grayskull and with the support of his very motherly girlfriend, Sean did return to my school that next year. And he was able to pull his grades up so when he came back to school he was a senior. Now Sean ran into some issues throughout senior year (failing a class first semester and getting his girlfriend pregnant), but the team kept on him. We kept pushing. I worked his schedule for second semester so he had all the classes he needed, the teachers spent extra time with him giving him additional support, and the Dean offered him the support only a man can offer to a young man. He had to take online courses but I am happy to say that on June 1, 2013 my principal put a hard-earned diploma into that young man's hands. 

When his name was called, he came onstage with the biggest smile and he hugged every single person on the stage. When he got to me he hugged me and cried, saying 'I couldn't have done this without you.' I cried right with him.

Sean has kept in touch since graduation. He and his girlfriend now have two (yes TWO) little boys. They are both going back to school this fall and he is working to support his kids. 

I smile (a lot) when I think about Sean. He came a long way, and he still has a long way to go. I will continue to post updates on him because I'm interested in seeing where his journey takes him.

Monday, August 4, 2014

I'll Say What I Want....Or What Happens When The First Amendment Battles Political Correctness & Twitter

I like Stephen A. Smith. I do. And I like Whoopi Goldberg. A lot.

Both of these people have come under fire for speaking their minds as of late. Was it 'hate speech'? No. Did it infringe on the rights of others? No. But what they said goes against the current norms and mores in regards to the realm of victims of domestic violence. And that's where all hell breaks loose.

NOTE: I have experienced domestic violence. I saw my aunts beaten. I saw my mom hit (although she fought back like a mutha...). I saw my uncles and cousins hit girlfriends. I was abused by so-called boyfriends as a teen and many a girlfriend cried on my shoulders because they were going through the same, if not worse. So here's my take on the situation:


This is the sentiment Whoopi was trying to express. She expressed it during the Jay-Z/Solange madness, and she expressed it yet again in defense of Stephen A. Stephen A. was attempting to express the same sentiment, in his Stephen A. way, but fell short. 

And the world went mad! Twitter damn near exploded. How dare he say that women provoke domestic violence? How dare he insinuate that a woman is deserving of a beating from a man?! Hellfire and brimstone should awash his body and he should be cast down with the Sodomites and then smited from the earth henceforth and forever more!!

....or at least be suspended...Oh the Twitter god/desses were calling for BLOOD!!!

Here's the problem with all of this. He didn't say that women provoke acts of domestic violence. He didn't insinuate that women deserve to be beaten. Hell, he didn't even take Ray Rice's side (which is what all of this is about, but that's a post for another season)! Stephen A. pretty much said what our mommas and daddies have been saying to us since we were knee-high to a table top: If someone hits you, you have every right to hit them back. Period. 


Nobody's momma ever said "If someone of the same GENDER hits you, you better hit them back." They said...see above. Now mind you, no momma wants to see her son 'Chris Brown' a woman. But you cannot seriously believe that it's okay to physically attack someone? And you have to know that there is a damned good chance that your physical attack will be answered with a physical counter attack. C'mon, son!

August 1995. I was in my mom's living room one afternoon with my boyfriend...we'll call him Teddy, because he was built like a bear. 5'10, 300 solid ass pounds. Teddy and I had been arguing. About what? Who cares! That was like 20 years ago. Stay focused!

Anyway, we'd been arguing all afternoon. He said something really upsetting to me and I punched him. In the chest. Hard. He told me not to hit him anymore, so I punched him again. In the chest. Hard. Before he could warn me again I punched him in the face. The look he had in his eyes could've scared Satan out of Hell. Didn't stop me tho. I threw another punch, he grabbed my arms and the next thing I know I was face down on my mother's couch and he was sitting on top of me. I'm screaming and yelling for him to let me up and he refused. He sat on me until I calmed down. When he let me up he said the following:

"I love you, yo. Don't ever hit me again. I love you too much and I don't want to hurt you."

I realized right then and there that being a girl did not give me carte blanche to act a fool and hit guys simply because they aren't supposed to hit girls. He taught me that in a very calm and loving way, and I'm forever grateful to him for that. Because he could've fucked me up that day. And you know what would've happened? There would have been no talk about what led to me getting hit. It would have been him being arrested for assault with no consequences for my actions, which, if you read the previous paragraph, were kind of fucked up.

ESPN buckled under the pressure of the Twitter god/desses and suspended Stephen A. Okay, whatever. But honestly, when are we going to realize that actions will always result in reactions?! It's Newton's law, people.

I've seen high school girls taunt and pick and beat on boys for substantial periods of time. I've seen them do all kinds of heinous things, with most of the boys ignoring it for the most part. If they do lash out, it's usually in the form of getting another girl to monkey stomp the girl that's been bothering them. Maybe that's the solution, but no...we still have people putting their hands on other people!

There are millions of women that are battered and beaten without provocation every year. Many of them lose their lives to the sickness that is domestic violence. This post is not about them. I wouldn't sully the memory of those lost.

This post is about that small group of women who think it's okay to throw shit, beat on people, and cause bodily injury without expecting some repercussion. KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS TO YOURSELF.

Matter of fact, everybody needs to just KEEP THEIR DAMNED HANDS TO THEMSELVES.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

I Smile

Hi everybody (all three of you, lol)!

I was looking back over my last posting and wondering why it has taken me so long to write again. That post was supposed to have been my kick-start back into this blogging thing. But as I read over it, the negative energy coming off that piece could have turned the skies over Disneyland black as night. I don't respond well to negative energy and the fact that it came from me is scary. And I think that's part of the reason why I stayed away from the blog for so long. So while I'll still use this space to talk honestly about my shit I will work to never again write as if my world is that shitty. Because it isn't. It truly isn't.

 I'm an adult. I go through shit. We all do. It is what it is. But I think I've been blessed so when the storms come I try my best to bear through and learn from it. When it's over, it's over. And if I'm still standing then I know I've won.

I was listening to Steve Harvey this morning and a brother name Donald called in asking Steve how he should handle all the 'NO's he is getting as he tries to get his books published on a national scale. Steve told the brother that the 'NO's are necessary, as they bring knowledge with them on how one can make their product better. After the phone call they played "Melodies from Heaven." That whole segment just put me in such a great head space. Even with the struggles and things not going as planned I know that I've been blessed and favored beyond measure. I've learned so much about myself and my little corner of the world in just the last few years and I've used that knowledge to work towards a better me.

I am not where I want to be, but I am better than I was. Have I lost the weight I've WANTED to lose? Not yet...but I haven't given up. Am I where I want to be professionally? Yes and no. I am good with my professional status and I'm working to make my vision come to fruition. Have I finished that damn book? Not yet...but I'm still writing. And I've received positive feedback from what I've shared with folks, so, yeah! Am I travelling? Mainly with the job, but I'm blessed to have a job that allows me that out. And plans have been made for personal travel so I'm good.

So even with all the bullshit and all the small things that have tried to weigh on me since before the new year I am smiling. I am feeling good. Because my shit could be a whole lot worse. And I'm constantly working to make my shit a whole lot better!

Monday, November 25, 2013

It's Been a Long Time...


I just logged into my Blogger account for shits and giggles only to realize I haven't posted an entry in more than a year. And what have I done in that year's time?



The only thing I've done in the last year is get a year older. And although I am happy for that blessing, I am saddened at the fact that I seem to be wasting the one resource that is absolutely finite--time. And that bothers me. Immensely.

Professionally, things are going well. I have gone back to school, working towards obtaining my Administrator I certification. I've decided to pursue educational leadership with the hopes of opening a school in the near future. I have not given up on the dream of obtaining a PhD in History, but I am putting that on the back burner for a while. I'm going to walk this leadership path for now and see where it takes me.

My personal goals, well, that's where I've taken the hit. I've not lost any weight (I'm actually bigger than I was at this same time last year). This is the worst because I know exactly what I need to do to lose weight. Have I done it? Nope. You would think my mindset would have changed by now and I would've gotten my shit together, right? Nope. Do I want to spend the rest of my life as a morbidly obese woman who looks 15 years older than she really is because of all the weight she's dragging around? I would tell you no, but my habits haven't caught up with my dreams....

Is the book finished? Nope. I'm still writing. Barely. I still think the story is a good one, but I just don't think I'm doing it justice. So I'll write a few paragraphs, get angry, and walk away. For weeks at a time. Writing this book has been rather emotional.

Have I bought a house? Nope. Dragging my feet there. I'm scared of making the commitment and not being able to maintain it. Plus I'm short on the 20% down Munchkin short.

Have I travelled this year? Outside of work-related travel, nope. Its hard to go anyway when your S.O. won't get on a plane. And hates when you go anywhere without them.

Have I taken up any fun classes this year? Nope. I've been wanting to learn belly dance for at least the last 6 years, but haven't found classes that are convenient for me. With the long work hours, the kids, the coursework, etc., I can't see myself driving to Temple Hills one evening a week for classes.

Okay. So the last year has been a bit of a bust for me. Here's hoping for some change in the upcoming year. Time is limited and one doesn't know when it will run out. So I don't want to waste anymore time. It feels shameful and sinful to continue to do so.

I guess we can consider this my welcome back post. See ya soon.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

NaNoWriMo/The Novel

I haven't been keeping up with my blog entries. I've had a lot on my mind. I've actually been trying to process everything so I could write about it but I'm still working that out. More to come on all of that.

In little more than a week's time I'll be participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The goal of NaNoWriMo is to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in 30 days. So I'm gearing up for that. Here lately I've been working on the outline for this novel. I'm no longer worried about getting it published or whether it's good. I just want to finish it. So I may check out, as far as the blog, for the month of November. I'll update you on my NaNoWriMo progress and if there is something pressing on my spirit I'll post an entry. But outside of that, I'm working on the novel.

If you want to get more info on NaNoWriMo check out the website

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

TMI Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Can we be just friends?

1. Have you ever had a friendship with a someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them?
        Yes I have

2. Are you prone to jealousy, suspicion or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you? Why?
          Not anymore. I used to. It's not worth the energy. Besides, whether I'm suspicious or not, if something's gonna go down its gonna go down. I can only control how I react to it.

3. Has a previously platonic friendship ever bloomed into a sexual relationship?
          Once or twice. I tried to not make that a habit. No turning back from that.

4. Have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover?

Bonus: Have you ever developed feelings for a “friend with benefits”? How did it develop, unfold, resolve?
           Yes I did. We dated other people. I took a break from him (and all men). We reunited. I got knocked up. We had 3 kids. And THEN we got married. LOL

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

TMI Tuesday October 2, 2012

1. What is your most favourite thing to wear that you have in your closet at the moment?

A pair of black cropped chinos. Soooo comfy and I can dress them up or down

2. What is the one item of clothing that you have seen on one of your friends / workmates that you would steal for yourself if you had the chance?

I would steal my best friends entire t-shirt wardrobe!
3. What is the one thing that your partner wears that never fails to turn you on. Why does it turn you on so much?

He has a short-sleeved, grey henley shirt, kind of dressy, that looks sooo delicious on him.
4. What is the one thing you wear when you want to attract the attention of your partner or others?
 High heels. At least 3 1/2 inches when I'm trying to get attention. I wear them with a knee-length skirt or dress because my legs look awesome in them
5. When you want to feel sexy what do you wear and why?

I'll wear a fitted (not tight-there's a difference) dress and heels. It seems to boost my confidence so I look and FEEL good
6. If you had unlimited funds but could only shop for one type of clothing (shoes, lingerie, fetish etc) what would it be?

Aww, that's just mean! One type of clothing?! Smh. It would be dresses.

Bonus: Tell us about your favourite scenario, real or fantasy, that involves some kind of clothing or fetish wear.

Oh not here! Lol